Many of you know that my parents are currently in Kenya on a 3 month mission trip, due to return the end of January (we miss you so much!). I also have a brother who lives there with his wife and three daughters. Another brother has gone to visit them over the Christmas holidays. So over half of my family is there now.
Currently there is rioting in Kenya over recent elections. If you want a quick overview of the situation, you can read an article or listen to reports. My parents and visiting brother are basically stuck in their home and my brother emailed me his reflections on the situation, which I thought would help anyone with New Year's Resolutions to become better world citizens, so I'm posting his email below.
They are a little nervous about his return trip to the US on Jan 1. His flight leaves at midnight and my parents don't drive there at night under normal circumstances, so they sure aren't looking forward to their drive to and from the airport in the middle of riots. I'm sure they could use some prayer. In their own words: "We are not afraid because we know God knew all about this when we signed up for this assignment and we are in His hands and care."
Anyway, my brother's email:
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Don't know if this is getting any attention in states. But I'm basically in lockdown here. The sham election has been declared and martial law imposed. All broadcast media has been taken off the air. The U.S. government appears to have confirmed the results. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Here is something I wrote up about my experience (since there is nothing else to do but sit in our compound and play scrabble).
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I can already see today's events written up in the newspaper I grew up reading. The High Point (NC) Enterprise reserves a small corner on the bottom of page 4 for international coverage. Each day, under the headline "Glimpses Around the World," readers are offered a small world map with six numbers pointing to different countries. These numbers, in turn, correspond to story blurbs of 40-50 words. Yes, the astute American can get the world in 60 seconds. On most days, we even get the neat symmetry of one story per continent.
Today, Kenya was likely chosen to represent Africa in the Enterprise. The story may read: "Sporadic violence broke out throughout Nairobi today as opposition leaders formally disputed the anticipated results of Wednesday's presidential election. Incumbent president Nanu Kibeki called for calm while early leader Raina Odeki asked the electoral commission of Kenya to investigate results in districts dominated by the Kikuru tribe loyal to the governing party. International observers have noted irregularities in the voting and appear unlikely to validate the still delayed results."
This story feels so much larger than any such blurb would imply. As I write, I am holed up in a house outside the city. The streets are eerily empty. Stores are closed. My week in Kenya has been dominated by the election and the drawn-out results. Any further sightseeing is unlikely.
I was caught up in this drama yesterday. My parents and I left Nairobi early in the morning for a journey into the Rift Valley for a safari in a national park. It is difficult to imagine a disputed election out in the country. The vast valley dwarfs its human inhabitants. An extinct volcano and ancient lake remind me that I am in a land that precedes any human concerns. And on safari, the most interesting exhibit is human vulnerability.
Our driver, Ignacio, was informed in the early afternoon of looting and fire near his home in the slum neighborhood known as Kabira (well documented in the Constant Gardner). We contacted my brother in the U.S . embassy and decided to head back to Nairobi before dark. En route, Ignacio continued to receive information--on phone and through conversations with other drivers. His explanations and translations from Swahili left me confused. But I could read the concern on his face and a speedometer that registered speeds much too fast for the pot-holed streets we journeyed through. At one point, Ignacio suggested that I may need to drive because he "was very very black" and that, in some places, thugs might not recognize his tribe.
Ill-informed on all the tribal and political dimensions of the election, I was as concerned as I have ever been traveling. But the threat to my safety pales in comparison to the average Kenyan. Hopefully these safety concerns are temporary. But regardless of how the election pans out, Kenya will remain divided for the next five years.
And the readers of the Enterprise will have another blurb to fit into their grossly oversimplified narrative of Africa. Readers will easily conclude, in less than 60 seconds, that the vast continent of Africa is best understood as a corrupt place still unprepared for the responsibility of democracy.
On this my first trip to Africa, I now realize how deep this narrative penetrates me. What surprises me about Kenya? And what does such surprise say about me? Why do I lack the imagination to see so many other stories in Africa? And what will it take U.S. news sources to treat Africa with fairness by developing such an imagination?
Yes, corruption is rampant. Decades of colonialism followed by post-colonial strongmen like Kenyatta and Moi have taken a toll on government structures. Such corruption explains why, amidst unprecedented economic growth, income disparity has widened under Kibeki. And the failure of real reform ensures that forty percent of Kenyans still subsist on less than $1 per day.
But unfortunately, the closeness of the election and the ensuing violence obscures what could and should be a more optimistic story, one of democratic triumph. The failure of Kibeki to deliver on promised reforms (and the unanticipated backlash to his alliance with former president Daniel Arap Moi) explains why Kenyans ousted much of its Parliament on Wednesday. Most of Kenya wanted change. And record numbers of Kenyans stood in line for hours to ink their finger and register a resounding complaint.
From Wednesday night until Friday afternoon, it was clear that Raila would be the new president. Kebeki refused to acknowledge defeat. Then the electoral commission, slowest in tallying votes from Kebeki strongholds, began adding returns favorable to the exisiting government. In ways suspicious to international observers, those latter votes have given Kebeki a small edge.
An announcement looms this afternoon. The smell of suspicion is in the air. Violence has already broken out in neighborhoods like Kabira where locals feel they have been wronged yet again. A formal announcement suggesting a Kibeki victory will undoubtedly unleash another round of looting and thugery tonight.
"Glimpses Around the World" will have new blurbs in the coming weeks to reinforce our unimaginative narrative of Africa. And the ego of a few men, in a nation filled with such promise, will continue to define Africa.
I know a lot of people hate to make New Year's Resolutions because they are just the same old thing repeated every year or doomed to fail in the first few days, so why bother. But I like to make resolutions. Mainly because I like to make lists. Yeah, I'm one of those list-people. But not in an obsessive way, mostly as a procrastination technique. If I have a lot of stuff to do, I like to sit down and "organize my thoughts" but really it's just an excuse not to actually start doing all that stuff. If you've ever given me anything but never received a thank-you note, I can guarantee that your name is on a list somewhere. Thank you for your kindness, I appreciate your gift. (Well, now I can cross your name off my list. Just kidding!)
Probably most of you don't really care about my resolutions, so this is mostly a personal exercise of self-reflection on my own life. Plus making it all public might make me more accountable to my goals. Before I start my list for 2008, I'd like to review my list for 2007 and see how I did.
1. Read one book a month. If I average this out over the whole year, I actually accomplished this goal! I didn't realize this when I started to write this blog, but when I sat down and started counting (and referred to my Shelfari bookshelf) I was pleasantly surprised my count added up to 14. Wow, I had no idea that I actually accomplished a New Year's Resolution. That puts me in a good mood.
2. Exercise more/ lose weight. This is pretty much a permanent resident on my resolution list. I did really good for the first 9 months of the year. Losing weight was somewhat easy since I had a lot of Charlie weight to lose. And I worked out at Curves regularly until we moved in June and for a while at our new house I had a pretty good exercise routine with Jane Fonda going. I had lost all my Charlie weight and was starting to lose those last 10 stubborn Coulson pounds. But for some reason in October, I let it all go. I must have gotten bored with Jane or something, because I stopped exercising and went and gained 10 more pounds! Ugh!
3. Learn Spanish. Another permanent entry. I must have spent all my time reading because I didn't do anything towards this goal.
4. Clean my house more. Ha, ha, ha, ha! That's funny.
And now for my 2008 goals (okay, it's kind of boring):
1. Read one book a month. Why mess with a good thing? I welcome any suggestions for good books to read.
2. Exercise more/ lose weight.
3. Learn Spanish.
4. Make Casey get a better job so I can pay someone to clean my house.
For Christmas I asked for, and received, a GPS device. Casey likes whenever I take an interest in technology, so he is quick to indulge. If the technology comes in colors, I usually ask for pink or purple. Not because I'm a big fan of pink and purple, but because I hope it will prevent Casey from borrowing my stuff. So far my strategy hasn't worked because pink and purple are always "out of stock," or so he tells me. (He finally got his own MP3 player, so now I can have mine back, after "sharing" my anniversary gift for a year and a half.) Well, my GPS device is yellow. But if you ever see me in the future with a pink laptop computer, you'll know why...
The GPS is so I can go geocaching. And today we went out to find our first cache. It was a lot of fun since the whole family could participate, even Chester. We searched the caches at Geocaching.com and found an easy one for our first find. It was smart to start with an easy one since Casey was trying to juggle Chester and the video camera and we forgot the backpack carrier for Charlie, who likes to wander off in his own direction. Then Chester chewed right through his leash - I don't think he meant to do it, he was chewing on a rock (don't ask) and the leash got in the way. But we all had a lot of fun.
Our parents didn't know what geocaching was, so Casey made a video our first find to help them understand. Geocaching is somewhat secretive (you don't want to give away the hiding spot), so I hope I'm not seriously offending the geocaching community by posting our video. Hopefully it may encourage more people to try it out.
***SPOILER ALERT for Current Geocachers - cache location revealed***
We had a great Christmas Day! Coulson was so excited about everything. He got the scooter that he wanted, plus a whole lot more. He had his moments: "I want another Christmas present for me!" But overall, he had a great attitude (And if you must ask yourself, "Why wouldn't he have a great attitude, it's Christmas?" then you probably don't have a 3-year-old yet and you haven't experienced the massive and often illogical mood swings of his age group. So yes, we were pleasantly surprised at his wonderful attitude.) Charlie also had a great time playing with his new toys, but he didn't really get into unwrapping his gifts. Luckily for him, his big brother was more than happy to unwrap his gifts. His big brother was also generous enough to test all of Charlie's new toys for him to make sure they worked correctly. And then he demonstrated for Charlie how to play with the toys. Charlie is grateful to have such a wonderful brother.
Casey's parents celebrated Christmas with us, and then his aunts and uncle joined us for a delicious Christmas dinner. Casey made a fabulous prime rib. Plus he did most of the dishes and clean-up. (I helped out when I could, but honestly he did most of it.) So I had a great Christmas Day simply because I have the most wonderful husband in the world! Charlie was taking his nap while we ate and Coulson played his new toys (which is very rare for him to play by himself!), so Casey and I got to eat a full meal with the grown-ups. My kids never cooperate like this - usually Coulson would be trying to climb all over my lap and begging me to "come play with me" and/or Charlie would wake up right as we sat down to eat and refuse to sit in his highchair and thus be reaching for all the wine glasses and steak knives on the table and I wouldn't be able to listen to or participate in any adult conversation. So I consider my dinner a special Christmas gift from my children, but orchestrated by God.
And Coulson was great when he opened presents from the aunts and uncle. Every gift he opened, he exclaimed enthusiastically, "This is just what I've always wanted!" no matter what it was: books, markers, balls or robots. It made the aunts feel great. And the thing is, we never prepped him to say that - it was pure natural excitement. Charlie was sweet to everyone and let the aunts hold him and play with him. I'm still in awe that my kids were so good.
My favorite Christmas present came last night, although it wasn't so great for Casey. A few weeks ago Casey asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I gave him a list, but then I added, "You don't have to get me anything if you would just throw away your Xbox." Let's just say that Casey plays video games more than I would like. Anyway, on Christmas Eve, Casey turns on his Xbox and gets the Red Ring of Death, which basically means that his Xbox died! Of course, this is a problem that can be fixed, but he must send his box away to get fixed and it could take up to a month to get it back. A month! That's great! Well, this wasn't so great for Casey for obvious reasons, but also because his big Christmas gift was an HD-DVD player that plugs into his Xbox so we can watch DVDs in High Definition (I know, I know, it's all the same to me, but apparently the movies are so much better than regular DVDs?) So if his Xbox is dead, he can't use his Christmas present. Well, he found a little trick on the internet that helped him "resurrect" his machine temporarily, for about 4-5 days, but he'll still have to send it in to get completely fixed or replaced. So we were able to try out his Christmas gift and we watched Transformers this evening. I just hope the mail is slow...
On hearing that his babysitter that night is named Mary: He gets wide-eyed and says in an excited hushed whisper "Is it the Mary with baby Jesus?"
On giving presents: Coulson is not good at keeping secrets. Last year he told me what I was getting for Christmas less than 5 minutes after he came back from shopping with his dad. This year he's doing better. He waited a whole day before he told his dad what he was getting him. And when he was starting to tell me, I tried to stop him: "Stop! Don't tell me! Don't tell me!" I yelled. "But I have to tell you. I can't stop." So I stuck my fingers in my ears, closed my eyes and started to sing gibberish until he got it out of his system.
As we were wrapping a present, I decided to try another approach to help him keep a secret. "Coulson, do you know why we wrap presents at Christmas?" "I don't know." "Well, take a guess, why do you think we wrap presents?" He thought for a little bit and then replied, "Because that's what Jesus wants us to do?"
On omnipresence: "Hey I just thought of something - You know how God is with everyone all the time? Well, how can there be so many Gods?"
I got this idea from my brother yesterday. He sent us a link to this greeting featuring my niece and nephew and of course it was hilarious! When I showed it to Coulson, he quickly discovered the "play again" feature and watched 10 times in a row.
So we have made our own version and we hope you will enjoy it. (Click the link below)
I've been having some weird nostalgic moments lately. Last night I was ironing a shirt. This was weird already because I don't iron, at most I probably iron 4 times a year. (It's a good thing Casey wears scrubs to work and I love those "wrinkle-free" fabrics!) But we had our family picture done this morning so I thought it would be nice to have ironed shirts. And as I was ironing I had this strange feeling that I should be watching Oprah. I think it's because when I was growing up, my mom would save all her ironing and laundry until Oprah came on in the afternoon, then she would fold and iron while watching the show. But alas, it was 10 o'clock at night and I don't have a television in my bedroom, so I had to settle for the sounds of Casey playing Call of Duty 4 in the other room. Not the same as Oprah.
And then today Coulson was playing with an old Fisher-Price toy that had a dial on it. "What this?" he asked. "It's a dial." "What's a dial?" Casey and I like to brainstorm about all the things our kids won't know about - dials, film, cassettes, floppy disks, etc. Anyway, when he asked about a dial, I thought of the old rotary dial phone that we had in my kitchen when I was little. A nice harvest gold color. And I remembered the sensation of hooking my finger through the dial and swinging it around and then the wonderful sound it made as it journeyed back to its original spot, gently rattling all the metal parts inside the phone. I miss that phone.
Reader Advisory:
If you have already had and raised your children - read on and smile back on your own memories and relish that they are simply that - memories.
If you are in the midst of raising young children - read on and you can commiserate with me.
If you haven't had children yet - DO NOT READ, just remember that children are the most wonderful things in the world and go have some for yourself!
Why it takes 45 minutes to get to the park
First Coulson has to get dressed because, of course, it's the middle of the day and he's only wearing underwear. But this isn't so easy because too many of his clothes "don't feel comfortable" so we have to go through a few sets of shirts and shorts (yes, shorts -- I know it's December, but it was 78 degrees out, thus the trip to the park). Once he finds a pair of socks that aren't "too tight," he puts on his shoes, and I have to tie them, double tie. Then I need to change Charlie's diaper before we leave and also change him into shorts. Charlie wiggles throughout getting dressed, but settles down for shoes and socks because he loves to wear things on his feet. I opt for velcro shoes for him. Then Coulson cries out that his shoes aren't tight enough. So I have to untie his shoes, un-double tie, and re-double tie them as tight as I can. At this point Chester the dog decides he needs to do his business outside as well. Since I don't have a fenced in back yard, I have to take him out on the leash while the kids play nicely (thankfully) in the yard. As I take Chester back in, I decide that I should also use the bathroom before we leave, so I grab all the kids and take them inside again. (This is the point where Coulson usually decides he needs to go number 2, which adds another 15 minutes to our departure time, but somehow I escaped that fate this afternoon!) As I fill up the dog's water bowl before we leave, Coulson accidently lets Chester out of the house. And Chester runs. So I grab the leash and Charlie and follow Chester up the street, holding my breath as he runs out in the road in front of cars coming around a corner. A friendly neighbor helps me catch him and, with a toddler on the hip, I drag Chester down the sidewalk and inside the house. I stop Coulson from climbing all over the the seats in the car, get Charlie buckled in, get Coulson buckled in, get myself buckled in and we are off to the park!
Coulson has some stranger anxiety, which is normal for his age when strangers start talking to him in the supermarket and stuff like that. But I don't think it's always normal for it to show up on the playground. If there are a few kids on the playground, he might cautiously play, but if it's really crowded, he won't even try to play. And if we're playing on a playground by ourselves and someone else shows up, he often will stop playing and ask to go home. I was confused at first, because I thought kids loved playgrounds. Of course I also thought that kids loved coloring and drawing pictures, but it's like pulling teeth to get Couson to draw a picture. Just goes to show what I knew about kids before Coulson came along...
Today I sent Casey and the boys to the playground so I can do something really exciting, like fold laundry and make beds. They came home about a half hour later and I ask them about the park. Coulson said they had a good time. Then Casey says, "We left because another family came and the dad started talking to me, so we left." I thought he was being funny and ironic, but he was dead serious. Mystery solved.
This is my favorite Christmas decoration:
Coulson made it in preschool last year and I had enough sentimental foresight to pack it up with our Christmas stuff in January. I'm glad I did, because I was so excited when I opened the box and saw them. Of course, I had completely forgotten about them until I opened the box, so it was a wonderful surprise!
Coulson on Christmas: If you ask Coulson about Christmas, the first thing he'll tell you is that he is getting a scooter. He says this with absolute conviction, even though we have tried to introduce some doubt - "You want a scooter. Maybe you'll get a scooter." "No, I am getting a scooter for Christmas." Thankfully he has been consistent with his desire. [Unlike his choice for a Halloween costume which changed daily for two weeks. Earlier in the month he was pretending to be a bat, loves the color black and was really into superheroes, so I encouraged him towards a Batman costume. But he resisted and fluctuated between a ghost, a spider, Lightning McQueen (stupid and expensive costume, so I vetoed that one) a fireman, a dog, spiderman (but they never had his size in stock), etc, until we finally found a cute dragon costume that we both liked. Then the day before Halloween, he tells me he wants to be Batman. Too late because I already bought the dragon costume. One hour before trick-or-treat he tells me he wants to be a fireman, which we already have a costume for. So he starts to get dressed in his fireman costume, but then changes his mind and goes as the dragon. The day after Halloween, he apologetically tells me, "Mommy, I'm sorry I made the wrong choice." The wrong choice about what? "I should have been Batman for Halloween." So we have agreed that he can be Batman next year and since then he has asked several times a week "When will it be Halloween again? Why does Halloween only come once a year?" So yes, we are very thankful that he consistently asks for a scooter so we can feel confident that we will have the right gift on Christmas morning.]
Coulson has a general understanding of Santa, but I try not to overemphasize his importance during the holidays. Personally I would've probably just told my kids that Santa is pretend from the start, but Casey thinks it adds to the magic of the season, so we compromise by going along with the stories, but not playing it up too big. I told Coulson that Santa is Jesus' helper. So he likes the jolly fellow, but he doesn't adore him. In fact he's actually quite scared of him. We went to a Christmas street festival last weekend. There was a line to see Santa and I was asking Coulson if he wanted to go, but he was too interested in the shepherds and sheep and goats journeying towards the live nativity scene a few blocks away. After the shepherds left, I asked again and started to show him where Santa was sitting, but he freaked out and started crying before we even got to see him. Then we went to the live Nativity. It warmed my heart that he was more interested in the story of baby Jesus than in Santa :-)
